You can find the missing words to the blank spaces in your manual below. The missing words are shown in bold.
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Misunderstandings.
Differences in values, goals, expectations, interests, culture, or opinions.
Competition over limited resources.
Poor relational skills or emotional intelligence.
Sinful attitudes and desires that lead to sinful words and actions.
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It is our response that makes the difference!!
Conflict is an opportunity to glorify God.
Conflict is an opportunity to serve other people.
Conflict is an opportunity to grow to be like Christ.
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We start with God.
How can I please and honour God in this situation?
We look at ourselves.
How can I show Jesus’s work in me by taking responsibility for my contribution to this conflict?
We talk with them.
How can I lovingly serve others by helping them take responsibility for their contribution to this conflict?
We seek to restore our relationship.
How can I demonstrate the forgiveness of God and encourage a reasonable solution to this conflict?
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Peace–faking
Denial: Pretending a conflict doesn’t exist or hoping it will deal with itself.
Flight: Running away – changing jobs; churches; sometimes ok if temporary.
Suicide: Never sanctioned by Scripture; loss of hope in self/relationships.
Peace–breaking
Assault: Force/Intimidation aimed to damage; verbal or physical/ emotional/social.
Litigation: Demanding one’s rights via courts; not to be used as an attack response.
Murder: Extreme force/intimidation; Remember: includes harbouring anger.
Personal Peacemaking
Overlook: A form of forgiveness; Possible with small offences.
Reconciliation: Talk to resolve relational issues; for issues too large to overlook.
Negotiation: Talk to resolve material issues; requires collaborative bargaining.
Assisted Peacemaking
Mediation: Enlist a mediator to guide and exhort; mediator ensures process not results.
Adjudication: Enlist an adjudicator to decide; only for material issues.
Accountability: Christian leaders can intervene; promote repentance and reconciliation.
WAIT: There will be times throughout the peacemaking process where God calls us to wait patiently.
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We bring peace into a conflict when we start with God.
A peacemaker views conflict not as an accident but as a stewardship opportunity.
Successful peacemaking means focusing not on results, but on dependent obedience.
Seeing and owning my part.
Lovingly raising issues with others behaviour.
Forgiving
Then the heart of conflict is the clash of these desires.
So, knowing what DRIVES the conflict can, help bring swift resolution and peace.
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Then the heart of conflict is the clash of these desires.
Knowing what drives the conflict can help bring swift resolution and peace.
An idol is something apart from God we strongly pursue that we think we need in order to be happy.
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Confess your sin and trust in God alone for everything you need.
Replace idol worship with worship of the true God.
ADDRESS everyone involved
AVOID if, but and maybe
ADMIT specifically
ACKNOWLEDGE the hurt
ACCEPT the consequences
ALTER your behaviour
ASK for forgiveness
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First step just between the two of you.
Second step take one or two others along.
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No wall is created.
No serious harm is done.
Not a pattern of destructive behaviour.
When someone’s sins are too serious to overlook.
When someone has something against you.
God wants us to make the first move.
Reconciliation involves addressing the personal issues through a process of open sharing with a loving and gracious heart.
Pray
Sooner or later, Face to face
Plan
Consider timing
Believing the best
Tone and body language
Quick to listen and avoid interruptions
Own what is yours to own
Be assertive without attacking
Use “I” language
Bring hope through the gospel
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Prepare
Affirm relationships
Understand interests
Search for creative solutions
Evaluate options objectively and reasonably
When the other person refuses
Situations of abuse
Significant power imbalance
Your job…speak the truth in love as clearly and generously as possible
God’s job…to change people
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Forgive as God forgives you
Forgiveness is not
A feeling
Forgetting
Excusing
A decision to show mercy.
An action to show mercy.
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I promise I will not dwell on this incident.
I promise I will not bring up this incident and use it against you.
I promise I will not talk to others about this incident.
I promise I will not allow this incident to stand between us or hinder our personal relationship.
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Conflicts are resolved personally and privately.
Working relationships, friendships and other relationships (eg. marriages) are strengthened and preserved.
Conflicts are turned into opportunities for people to be freed from sin and mature in faith and character.
People become humbler and gentler with each other, are more forgiving and easier to forgive.
Grudges are not held & there are fewer undercurrents dragging people down.
Organisations are more united and fruitful.
Peace and reconciliation become marks of your family, church and workplace, glorifying Jesus Christ, enhancing your witness, and spreading the Gospel.
A culture of peace is created when in a community when multiple individuals live out God’s call for them to be peacemakers.
A culture of peace starts with me!!